GOOD VS BAD

If you could pin point one instance or situation that changed your life forever, what would it be? Maybe this question is easy for you to answer. Maybe this is a question you have to sit back and reflect on. Maybe you wait day in and day out for that light bulb to go off, the flash of lighting to light up your world, the moment when you figure out everything has changed for you.

For me, this instance hands down, is when I got a DUI.

If I could best describe this situation it would be in terms of an infomercial. You know the type that come on really late at night, around 2am. The type that show a particular product like the Shamwow or the Magic Bullet Blender in both the old form, usually in black and white and the new form, in color. My life both before and after the night I got my DUI is identical to an infomercial. Let me put this into perspective for you:

BEFORE: I would like to consider myself a party animal, you know the type that rarely missed a good time, the one the people called to see "what's going on tonight", the type that would frequently plan my work schedule, studies, and even family time around clubs, bars, and beer pong tournaments. I was outgoing, very outgoing, more times than not, TOO outgoing. I had a ton of friends. I'm talking great friends. You know, the kind that you go out with you even if they have work the next morning, the type that would be there for you no matter what, any given time. The type that trusted you with their biggest fears and biggest accomplishments. When I went home on the weekends I planned my weekends with my friends first, then made time for family. This was usually just a hi and bye in passing and an occasional dinner or breakfast before I was running out the door to meet up with friends or choking down breakfast because I was too hungover to even enjoy the presence of the people I desired to have in my life the most.

AFTER/DURING: I will start by saying WHAT A WAKE UP CALL. I'm currently going through the diversion program that is not only the most expensive mistake I have ever made but the best mistake I have ever made (stay with me, you'll understand). When I first got my DUI I made it a point to get all my parting out before I would be sentenced to months of walking on egg shells. When I finally found out I would be on the diversion program I made sure to dot my I's and cross my T's, do everything I was told, no cutting corners. Called every morning, went to my classes, went to AA twice a week, stayed in on the weekends and said no to alcohol. Easy right? Right! Until you notice that the people that are supposed to be your friends soon stop calling, stop asking you "whats going on tonight", until you realize that you can only watch so much trash TV and movies on the weekends alone before you truly do feel....alone. After several months I began to slip up, cut the corner. That didn't work out for me either. Whether I have bad luck or it was fate for me to get caught, it happend. But enough of the fine print. What I have found through my experience so far has been incredible. I have realized who my true friends are, I don't have many, happy to say so. I have had hours and hours to reflect on the person I used to be when I drank and the person I NEVER want to be again. I have met some of the most incredible people through the AA program in Kearney and will be forever changed by their stories. But most importantly I have a relationship with my family that I'm 100% sure I would have never gained had I of not gotten a DUI. When I go home my family is first on my list. I remember the my first sober family breakfast, key word, remember. I have had some amazing conversations with my Dad in his garage and have actually sat up and watched my Mom's dreadful British shows with her. Although my life is still very hectic and fast pace I have taken a minute to care about my sisters, and the things going on in their lives. DUI's, the court system, and and diversion are three VERY unforgiving places but I'm happy to say I have an amazing couple of true friends, boyfriend, and family that forgave me without even thinking twice.

A blessing in disguise, and I mean DISGUISE.